Stake Land (2010)

Stake Land

☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆

(Liked It)

Netflix Synopsis:  This genre-bending thriller combines vampires, religious fanatics and post-apocalyptic horrors with a coming-of-age tale that finds drifter Mister training young Martin to survive the nightmare that has become America as they journey to New Eden.

The Peeps:  Jim Mickle (writer, director); Nicki Damici (writer); Nicki Damici, Connor Paolo, and Kelly McGillis

Quick Run Down:  Unusually Dramatic, Good Gore, Decent Action, NO Laughs

Worth the Watch?:  Yeah

Stake Land has a very straightforward plot.  The world's population has been infected by a plague that has turned people into vampires (blood suckers) or beserkers (killers).  There's no explanation as to why this has happened or why only some are infected and others aren't; it's just the way things are in Stake Land.  Martin (Connor Paolo) is a young farm boy getting ready to hit the road with his parents, post-plague, when the family is attacked by a vampire.  A man, simply called 'Mister' (Nicki Damici), shows up and helps, but he's too late.  The monster has done his damage, so Mister kills the bloodsucker, mercifully finishes off the parents, and takes Martin under his wing.  This begins Stake Land, and the remainder of the film revoloves around Mister and Martin trying to stay alive as they drift from town to town, gradually making their way North for the safe haven 'New Eden'.  Along the way, they kill some vampires, defend themselves from a Cult religious group (the Brotherhood), and make some new friends, including Kelly McGillis and Danielle Harris.  Thinking about it, that sounds more like a skit premise for "Robot Chicken".

This is a decent watch, but it's surprisingly dramatic for the horror genre.  Mister, the main character, smiles maybe twice in the film, and he carries a very quiet, terse attitude about him.  Martin narrates throughout the film, and his voice remains somber and downtrodden from start to finish.  Even when a one liner is dropped or a shimmer of hope peaks through the dark, bloody post-apocalyptic clouds, the film still remains depressing.  All this drama makes for a very self-contained world, but it also makes for some fairly boring moments in the film, as Mister and Martin are just wandering from place to place being quiet and depressed.  Fortunately, Mickle disperses action pretty evenly through the film, so, when it does start to drag, it tends to pick up again.  And, speaking of action, there are some pretty good fight and stab sequences in the film, occuring between both vampire and human and human and human.  The effects are good - the blood is very dark and layered, and, though I'm skeptical of the makeup choice, the make-up is well done.  Nick Damici is good as the strong, silent type, but, since he's the writer of the flick, I'm sure the role wasn't hard for him to capture.  Everytime I looked at Connor Paolo (Martin), I felt like he was about to smile, so it was really hard to take him seriously in the film.  I guess it's the shape of his lips; I don't know.  It was annoying though.  Danielle Harris is in the film for just over an act, and, per usual, she's fun.  As a horror staple (ranging from Halloween IV to Zombie's Halloween II) she's almost Curtis iconic, so it's hard to judge her any other way, for me at least.  (Plus, I think she's hot.)  The real kicker of Stake Land (and I think I'm more honest about that than I realize) is Kelly McGillis.  Check out the photo below:



Still from Top Gun (1986) vs Current Day

I was really surprised when I saw this.  Aging sucks, I know.  I'm still young, but my youth found the exit sign about a year or so ago.  So, I'm beginning to experience all the premature joys of what it is to be older.  Still, looking at the above pic, McGillis' appearances are night and day.  This is the hot blonde from Top Gun, man!  I hate to sound vain or superficial, but what happened?!  That being said, the right photo is not flattereing by any means.  If you look around, you can find current and much better photos of McGillis, and, actually, in Strange Land, she still looks good.  I guess I just haven't seen her in anything in so long, I was shocked to see how much older she looked.... alright... enough gossip.

So, if you wanna watch a very dramatic horror movie about the apocalypse and vampires, Strange Land isn't a bad watch.Or if you wanna see what Kelly McGillis looks like 24 years after being hot in Top Gun, Strange Land is the movie to watch.  (Honestly, I'd go with the second reason; it's probably all you'll remember from the film.)  Either way, check it out - it's on Netflix! 

 

"You shoot me, I'll fucking kill you."