☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆
(Didn't Like It)
Netflix Synopsis: When the undead overrun San Francisco, a desperate group survives by locking themselves inside Alcatraz Prison and must gamble everything on finding a way to stop the zombie scourge before it's too late.
The Peeps: Nick Lyon (director); Keith Allan, Delondra Williams (writers); Marial Hemingway, LeVar "Reading Rainbow!" Burton, Ethan Suplee, Danny Trejo
Quick Run Down: Lots of CGI, Lots of Gun Shots To The Face, Lots of Running and Screaming, Not Enough Reasons To Say It's A Good Movie
Worth The Watch?: No, Unless You're Just In That Kind Of Mood...
Rise of the Zombies follows a mixed group of survivors that are hiding out on Alcatraz after a zombie outbreak. The bay current (...yeah...) somehow manages to bring in a tide of zombies and the group decides to head to the San Fran mainland in order to seek out the doctor that is on the verge of a cure.
There's nothing else you can do with zombie movies, and what you may come up with will be better executed on "The Walking Dead" before that phenomenon is finally given it's fatal bullet to the brain.
Rise is an example of this because the film offers nothing new save some good looking film (not even good shots or frames, just a good picture quality) and a slew of actors that inspire you to scratch your head and ask, "Are they THAT desperate?" Marial Hemingway, Danny Trejo, Ethan Suplee, French Stewart - all actors that, at one point or other, were doing decent secondary/tertiary characters in big budget films. Now, they are starring in zombie spin offs. Oh, and there's LeVar Burton too! You may remember an educational show called 'Reading Rainbow' that was on during the early 90's and LeVar was the host. I haven't seen him in anything since, but he's in
Rise and he's not bad. He plays a scientist left on Alcatraz, so we get less and less of him as the film moves on, but it's still cool to see the guy from your childhood telling us about what he sees in his microscope. Age has treated him well, too, even if he is doing B-rated zombie flicks. Speaking of B-rated, this film isn't so much that as it is just uninspiring. There is literally no character development and what we do get about any of the characters doesn't come until almost half an hour in. From there, more is gradually divulged, all in the effort to keep the action "non-stop" and build characters as the film moves on. This only semi-works for one girl, though, and once she's out of the picture, we're back to screaming, running, and shooting zombies in the face with head crown explosions CG'ed in afterwards. There's one intense scene that is WAY over the top, but I give kudos for a pretty ballsy, albeit exploitive, sequence. It'll make you squirm, to say the least.
There's not much to say about
Rise of the Zombies. The dialogue is eh, the acting is shoddy, the effects are poor (the opening sequence is just abysmal), and the plot is splotchy. Personally, I'd say skip watching it, unless you're just in that kind of mood. You know, when you're willing to torture yourself just to get a few cheap laughs. One of those kinds of moods. A beer and rowdy friends kind of deal. But, hey - don't let me hinder you. You can watch it whenever you want; it's on Netflix!!
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What happens to this kid brings a whole new meaning to
late term abortion... |
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